


Crossfire

by superfluouskeys



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, Gen, and i have Plans For Her in my longer fics, but i cannot currently focus on anything long so, here is this instead, tbh i literally decided to give these some semblance of through-lines bc i gave myself elsa feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfluouskeys/pseuds/superfluouskeys
Summary: Indeed, she can no longer pretend she was happier before, but it was undeniably better.  Before, she had no idea what happiness was.  Knowing is worse.  Knowing is wanting, and wanting is the disease for which there is no cure.  [A series of loosely connected vignettes.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely inspired by this thing: http://superfluouskeys.tumblr.com/post/165956903959/galadrieljones-tel-abelas-mofo-dankou

  1. Hero of Fereldan



They call her hero who once called her disease.  She is a Warden without a Blight, a Mage without a Circle, a homebody without a home, and she thinks perhaps she's meant to feel glad of the change.  Indeed, she can no longer pretend she was happier before, but it was undeniably better.  Before, she had no idea what happiness was.  Knowing is worse.  Knowing is wanting, and wanting is the disease for which there is no cure.

  1. Hawke



When she was little more than a child she used to run away for days on end.  She'd pick fights with anyone who'd listen, wield a blade or a stick so craftily they never noticed the subtle flare of her magic, and seldom go to sleep hungry or dissatisfied, even if it was in some dark alleyway or someone's busted up attic.  That all changed when Father died.  Now Mother is the one who runs away, and Marian is the one who has to take care of the family she leaves in her wake.

  1. The Inquisitor



It's a weird title and a lot of religious bullshit, but in truth Taman feels almost relieved.  She never really wanted to be a kill-for-hire or a Saarebas, and as far as she knows there are no other options for a qunari mage in this world.  It's not like she could just open a tavern and spend her days serving drinks and baking cookies, right, so why not wield a terrifying mark of doom and destruction?  It sure as hell beats sleeping outdoors.

  1. The Wardens



Solona doesn't put much stock in brotherhood or ancient rituals.  She imagines such practices get in the way of what's right in front of your face: that you don't know these people and you can't trust them, or that you're being asked to drink poison under the guise of salvation even though you're dead either way you choose.

  1. Twins



They never got along, but that doesn't mean they're not connected.  Bethany finds him easily enough in the Fade, after all, when his soul passes through, like following a well-worn path, so familiar she hardly notices the journey.  He doesn't talk much, but he never really did.  Still, he lingers there overlong, Bethany thinks, and she's not sure whether it's because he had unfinished business or because she did.

  1. Elves



The way elves wear their hair says much about them.  Among the Dalish, children grow their hair until they are old enough to receive _vallaslin_ , then cut it to symbolize the new life stage.  Apprentices grow theirs out while they train only to cut it when they've been granted mastery, a physical sign of a spiritual change.  Many wear their hair long to emphasize health and vitality, others wear it short out of practicality.  The real test, though, is the ears.  Do they try to cover them up, or draw attention to the dramatic point?  For an elf, it is never neither.

  1. Mages



The stuffy Circle mage is amusing in her dourness, but Morrigan likes her, in spite of everything.  There is something strangely charming about a person who genuinely does not want trouble, blithely ignoring that to be born with magic is to live with trouble forever at one's throat.

  1. Warriors



Sometimes Aveline wonders who she'd be if not for her father's wishes and the weight of her name.  She used to think she wasn't built for fighting, that she only did it to make him proud, to honour her namesake, to protect her friends, to protect the innocent, and finally, because it was all she'd ever known, but sometimes she's not so sure.  She wonders whether there rests within her some primal urge that would have compelled her to pick up a sword no matter her origins, and she isn't certain whether the thought comforts or terrifies.

  1. Spirits



Invisible awake, invisible asleep.  With little to do while her body slumbers, Elsa wanders the Fade without even the memory of fear to hinder her steps.  She reaches out to a dark spirit and finds herself ignored, wonders idly what would become of her if she did the same thing to a creature of flesh and bone in the waking world, and imagines it would be much the same.

  1. Circle



Solona misses security, and she doesn't.  Misses the familiarity of her bunk in the Apprentice Quarters, and doesn't.  She's sitting by a makeshift fire on a makeshift chair, acutely uncomfortable and sore and exhausted and always with the undercurrent of fearing for her life, and the warmth from the fire is making her eyes too dry, but Morrigan is almost smiling at her while they speak, her fingers drumming the empty space between them, and Solona can't seem to wish herself anywhere else.

  1. Romance



Varric says Hawke falls in love too easily, but she knows it's not true.  She tumbles in and out of lust as easily as her bed, here one day, gone the next, wild passion one moment, wild resentment the next, and wild fondness settling back in not long after, because Hawke loves all of her friends well enough to sleep with them a few times, but she'd much rather just sit and drink with arms intertwined and clothes firmly in place.  When at last Hawke falls in love, it's with vehement protestation, with someone she could never have, and should never want.

  1. Found family



What good's a family if they tie you to a place?  And what good is a place if it ties you to some ancient half-forgotten nug-shite?  Sure, Sera could've stayed in some shitty alienage with some distant half-forgotten family and been married off to some shitty man and promised to some arsefaced noble and swallowed her disgust and forgotten how to smile and pretended it was fine because at least she had a family, but that sounds like a fucking stupid idea, doesn't it, and so aren't you glad, Her Royal Holy Lady Inquisitorness, that she decided to tag along with your decidedly lovely arse, instead?

  1. Companion



For the first month or so, Solona is terrified of the dog.  She can't imagine why a mabari would imprint on her just because she didn't want to be directly responsible for its death.  Just because she stumbled upon a little bit of the medicine that would help it.  Why, for such a happenstance, should the hound have sought her out as its new master?  Why, now, should it drop strange objects, withvarying degrees of usefulness, at her feet, and pant and drool and bark at her until she thanks it and gives it a reluctant pat on its giant, toothy head? 

She supposes she ought to give her dog a name.

  1. Templars



Once Hawke threatened to kill a boy for threatening to take Bethany to the templars.  She even went so far as to wrap her hands around his throat and squeeze, and in retrospect she has no doubt she would have done it if he hadn't sworn secrecy.  Now she allows a templar's hands upon her own throat--cradling, caressing, but never gentle--and wonders when Meredith will finally end what she's begun.

  1. Halamshiral



Sera hates it here, but she likes Taman, and maybe that's enough.  Taman, who moves through the crowd like any other, with her easy charm and her dashing smile and her disarming freckles, asks what Sera thinks like it matters to her, asks what Sera knows like that matters, asks Sera for a dance like anything here matters, and maybe...maybe it does.  A little.  Kinda.  Possibly.

  1. Red Templars



The first time Hawke encounters one, she cries when he falls.  It's not the same, of course.  He's got the stuff growing out of him, face and body mangled beyond all recognition, far more a beast than a mere lyrium-addled man, but all Hawke sees is _her_ face, the way her curls fell damp against her cheek when she fell, the red that burned her up on the inside, the plea for forgiveness in her final moments.  It's not a notion she'd dare speak aloud, but Hawke thinks the real Meredith would be devastated to learn of her legacy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got around to finishing this thing! Vaguely inspired by this: http://superfluouskeys.tumblr.com/post/165956903959/galadrieljones-tel-abelas-mofo-dankou

  1. Morrigan



Morrigan thinks she loved her mother once, though it is hard to remember the feeling now.  Perhaps an echo of it remains, a twisted desire to care even when she knows the truth of her place in this world.  Love is a terrible emotion.  It gives one the desire to stay overlong where one should not tarry, the desire to twist threads of fate already woven.

  1. Family memories



There's a portrait hanging in the Stannard home which upon first sight seems like perhaps it has no significance to its mistress.  It depicts a man and woman with greying hair and timid smiles, and two little girls, one blonde and beautiful and smiling as timidly as her grey-haired guardians, the other not smiling at all.  The younger girl has the gangly limbs of a growing child, yet her shoulders are squared, and her gaze is like steel.

  1. Romance



Sera likes baking things.  She likes making things.  It's the only thing she misses about her time in the alienage: people were always making something out of next to nothing, because they had to.  Now there's more, and maybe it isn't plenty, but it feels that way by comparison, and maybe cookies don't mean the same thing to Taman that they mean to Sera, but to Sera they mean home.  Sera hasn't had a home for a long time.

  1. Anders



The apostate with the spirit inside him looks at Elsa with sad, searching eyes.  Or perhaps it's the spirit that looks.  The spirit reaches out a little bit, perhaps subconsciously, and it seems somehow to press upon the very fabric of the universe.  Elsa was someone once.  She remembers it now, almost, like a distant dream.  But then the apostate becomes distracted and the spirit follows suit, and Elsa dirfts back into nothingness.

  1. Found family



Somewhere there is a family that hardly remembers Solona.  She grew up thinking it was a good thing that they did not resist, that they handed her over to the templars as soon as her magic became apparent.  She has heard stories of terrible things that befall those who resist.  At first when Solona meets the little boy who's become possessed because his parents couldn't let him go, she feels vindicated.  Privately, she wonders whether it mustn't feel just a little bit nice to be wanted in spite of one's curse.

  1. Best Served Cold



People call Meredith cold, but Hawke knows otherwise.  Hawke has seen the way she cares, the way she hides it, simmering beneath the surface, a clench of her fist and a fire in her eyes, the real, genuine surprise of betrayal.  It's a curious conversation, because Hawke herself ought to be a betrayal of everything Meredith stands for, and yet somehow it's different.  Somehow it isn't about principles between them, even if perhaps it ought to be.

  1. Trespasser



Taman thinks there might have been a time when she'd have felt faintly relieved that she might be dying.  She hadn't seen much of a future for herself before all this.  Never wanted to be a kill-for-hire or a Saarebas, and it wasn't like she could just open up a tavern and spend her days serving drinks and baking cookies, right?  But everything is different now, because now it feels like she could, like she might.  Sera wants forever, and Taman wishes she could promise it.

  1. The Abyss



Hawke has never put very much effort into worrying about the future.  Really, she's never seen much of one for herself.  She's failed at protecting her family, failed at protecting her friends, failed at protecting a city with no one else to turn to.  She stumbles onward simply because it's all she's ever known how to do, and can't help but to wonder whether there's anything left for her in this world.

  1. Hope



The Veil is thin here.  Elsa remembers hearing people say it, but she never remembers feeling what they describe.  Now it feels like clarity, like reaching for something that feels like it ought to be within her grasp.  With no mistress left to serve and no walls left to contain her she wanders lost while the fabric of the universe shifts around her, and she finds herself becoming less invisible by the day, not least to herself.

  1. Betrayal



There was nothing for them, was there?  Nothing between them that had any place to go.  Of course Solona ought to have expected Morrigan to leave, oughtn't to have asked her to stay at all.  _I won't watch you die_ , she says vehemently.  _I will not watch you throw your life away when I have offered you an alternative!_   But it's too much.  Too much to ask and too much to give.  Solona's life has been such a pointless, floundering thing.  Certainly not worth saving when there is so much more at stake.

  1. Blood magic



People call Meredith cold, but Hawke knows otherwise.  Hawke saw the way Meredith looked when she learned that her men had turned on her, and she sees the same betrayal in Meredith's eyes now, faced with what she knows she ought to have suspected, irrefutable in the telltale scars upon Hawke's arms.  It was never about principles between them, yet now principles tower all around them, inescapable, and that, Hawke knows, is when it's truly over, no matter what the battle might bring.

  1. Rest



Taman wakes to Sera's hands in her hair, Sera's fingertips at the broken tips of her horns, Sera's palms on either side of her face, whispering, _it's all right, don't worry, everything's all right now, it's gone, it's all gone and we're—and you're—shh, no, don't sit up._ Sera's fingertips on the tender flesh of Taman's arm—freshly wounded but healing.  _Just rest awhile, yeah?_

  1. The Calling



Morrigan gets wind of the false calling in a roundabout manner.  It isn't the first time she has regretted her choice to leave, but it is the strongest.  It incites a twinge in her chest so violent it nearly doubles her over on the spot.  She thinks of the stuffy, dour Circle mage who became the sad-eyed, stone-faced leader, who would not heed her advice, who would not allow Morrigan to make a small sacrifice to save her, and it is all she can do not to tear across Thedas at once in search of her.  _Be strong, my love,_ she thinks instead, in silence, and continues along the path she has set for herself with trembling knees and a heavy heart.

  1. Loss



When Hawke was little more than a child, she used to run away for days on end.  Since Father died, she wonders whether she hasn't spent every waking moment trying to make up for the times she didn't stick around.  Lately she wonders whether, perhaps, if she'd had the good sense to run away while she had the chance, things might have turned out differently.

  1. Victory



The tavern actually does pretty well, especially for a new business in such trying times.  Sera is a top notch bartender, and her crassness makes for some truly hilarious specialty drink titles.  It doesn't hurt that people come flocking from far and wide once they get wind that this is where Inquisitor Adaar is hiding out, though most of them leave disappointed on that front.  After all, it's hard to believe the mild-mannered Qunari—whose remaining hand, when not wielding a plate of truly magical cookies, is decidedly unmarked by any sort of demonic sorcery—could possibly have done all that stuff they talk about in the stories.


End file.
